God created the world...and then He created man & woman... and He said "Be fruitful and multiply."
So why have I chosen to disobey one of my Savior's first commandments?
Sometimes I wonder myself, but most of my life I have believed that was not His plan for me.
I hope to explore this belief, my feelings, insecurities and a lot more during the course of this blog. I am interested to hear some thoughts other than mine to perhaps encourage me as I am living with my decision and having mixed feelings from time to time. I would also welcome thoughts that are not in agreement with me, although I think it is probably too late to change my mind at this point in my life.
So please be kind! :)
I am 43 years old. I've been with my wonderful husband Brian for almost 13 years now. I truly believe that God sent him to me as a gift during a difficult period in my life. He loves me better than I deserve much of the time, and has always completely and totally supported my belief that I am not meant to have children.
But what happens when he is gone? Not that I claim to know which one of us will go home first, but from a historical perspective in my family, the women always seem to live longer. Some have nearly lived to be 100! So naturally, I worry about who will care for me when I am left behind. I try to avert the worry, knowing that God will take care of me, but I am not always successful.
Do these worries make me less of a Christian? Do my decisions?
I have many more thoughts, worries, questions and feelings to explore. As I said, it's only the beginning, and I have a lifetime to explore...
